When well-meaning friends and associates my think you should be moving on, you may experience extended periods of sad reflection, feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and despair. This is an important time for us to grieve fully, and not look for ways to 'cheer up'. We may try to disconnect from things of love and affection, refusing to see people, and spending a lot of our time crying and grieving. What's the point?' 'I miss him/her so much, why go on?' Understanding that our loss is real, and the relationship is over, we may withdraw and become silent. Why bother with anything?' 'I've lost the only person I really love. Psychologically, we are saying, 'I understand my relationship has died, but if I could just do something to buy more time.' Another example of bargaining is, 'I'll never drink again, if you'll just bring him/her back to me.'ĭEPRESSION - Here, we will say things like, 'I am so very sad. Usually, whether religious or not, we try to 'make a deal' with God or a higher power in exchange for our promised reformed lifestyle. Our relationship has ended, but as we are getting over a broken heart, we think we can perhaps negotiate for another chance. You will, at some point, have the thoughts, or say things such as, 'Why me? It's not fair!' 'How can this happen to me?' 'This is someone's fault!' 'I don't deserve this!'īARGAINING - The third stage involves the hope that we can somehow postpone or delay or change what has happened. Your life will most likely feel chaotic, 'out of control', and scary during this phase. There may also be feelings of guilt or remorse about things you did 'wrong' or didn't do 'right' with your partner. This pain, or heartache, can seem overwhelming, excruciating and almost unbearable, but we must experience this suffering in it's entirety, and not hide it, repress it, or attempt to avoid it or escape from it with alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or other 'crutches'. But, when shock leaves, the suffering of unbelievable pain enters. CLICK -> HERE ← - TO GO TO ADULTFRIENDFINDERĪNGER - The shock will eventually wear off, and we will recognize that denial cannot logically continue. Shock can last for short or long periods of time. We can go into shock, and most often will, and this provides protection emotionally from being completely overwhelmed by the loss. There are five stages, which are:ĭENIAL - This is when we will say things like, 'I feel fine,' or 'This can't be happening, not to me!' This is numbed disbelief.

Getting over a broken heart will occur in stages. These stages are now frequently referred to as the Kübler-Ross model, The Five Stages of Coping with Loss. There are five stages to getting over a broken heart or any traumatic loss, and a break-up definitely qualifies!

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